collected from rec.music.gdead
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Bear [?]: Now I'll turn the monitors on for you!
Bobby: Yeah, that'd be real nice.
Jerry [?]: Can't hear the guitars on stage, turn the monitors on!
Bob: Can't hear the guitars [mumble].
Jer: Cant hear anything! Turn them on, turn them on, turn them on
Don't be coy!
Turn it all up! Turn everything up!
[Skreech of feeeeeedback]
Now leave it RIGHT there; don't change it; [mumble: "what about the guitars"], at the threshold of pain!
[another voice]: Oh Yeah!?
I Know You Rider *** with Muddy Log verse ***
Silver Threads and Golden Needles
Friend of the Devil
Me and My Uncle
Bob: We got a case of broken strings. I didn't mean to say that we've got a whole case full of broken strings,
but we got a case of .... case of... Anyway, we've got a broken string.
So we're going to FIX it!
New Speedway Boogie
Cold Rain and Snow
Bob: Well it come time again to test the PA see if it's working.
Course you might of guessed we're never satisfied. That's kinda the way is is, you know. It ain't all glamour 'n glory 'n tinsel being a rock 'n roll star, you gotta test the PA every now and again and it sure is a drag. Specially when it just doesn't seem to, it just doesn't [mumble] Anybody else want to test the PA?
Jer?: Hallo, Hallo?
[sotto voice]: *that* part works!
Pig: This one here could be something else, I'm not sure what, but something else.
Bob: Come On, Bear, Get It Together!
Come On, Bear, Get It Together!
Come On, Bear, Get It Together!
Pig: Hey Bear, there's not going to be another fucking word sung from this stage... until them goddam monitors work!
Bob: All power to the monitors!
Pig: Why shit, you can't even hear you're own mistakes!
Bob: Turn that guy into the public bureau of good taste. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Bear, none other. Lets hear it for the Bear, 'cause we're gonna to sure hear it from the Bear. [extended, rather musical feedback] Bob: This is known as the Bear solo... Aw, it seems to be picking up, y'know, I mean, I can't even... Any old minute now, we're going to have some silence in which to... Shit, I eat soundmen for breakfast! Turn the drum mikes down a little, and you'll lose that Whooo! Whooo! right there, that Whooo! Now you can turn the vocal mikes up, you'll find, and it'll be... great! Great!
Uncle John's Band
After Comes a Time
"tuning" -- band talking amongst themselves
From the Audience: "St. Stephen!" "St. Stephen"
Phil: "I heard you the first time."
something unintelligible from the audience
Phil: "Oh, ah, yeah, in answer to that question, our, ah, new piano players is named Keith Godchaux. And he's been with us since last October. And, ah, we really dig him."
Jerry (?): "He's dynamite."
Keith plays "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out..."
Bobby: Yeah, we think ole Keith here is the cat's spats."
Phil: "Pajamas. Ah-hh-hh"
(?): "Well done!"
a drunken hoarse voice: "[Everybody] better well do the bloody well song."
Jerry: "We don't know it."
(?): "Bloody well [sing it for us]."
Bobby: "Oh, wait a minute."
(?): "I think it's trapped."
Jerry: "Bobby's uncrooking himself."
Phil: "All right, Page."
Bobby: " See [them] out there? Tell 'em to bend over."
Phil: [chuckles] "Hey, Bob says to bend over, man. Grab your ankles and assume the position, you know."
the band "noodles"
Jerry: "Pray... Blow 'em out."
Bobby: "Put it where everybody can't find it."
Jerry (?): "Come on Weir."
Phil: "Relax man, this IS music. Everything we do is music, man."
Bobby: "Shit, yes! You see son, life is like a symphony."
band banter -- chuckles -- noodling -- loud speaker buzz/fart
Bobby: "You got rats in your piano."
Phil: "What was that?"
Bobby: "Well this next one's dedicated to Portland's Skid Row. For no reason at all... Ex - eh - ah except just to prove my point that life is like a symphony."
Phil: "Life imitates art: [Part 42]."
Band plays Sugar Magnolia
From: email@example.com (Chuck Gannon) Subject: Re: Crowd Control Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1993 15:46:02 GMT
Jerry: You want the lights off. Is that it? I think they want the lights off Mr. Lights man. The big ones.
Other: The ugly ones.
Phil: Yeah, the big spotlights you got pouring down on 'em back there. What time does the balloon go up?
Bobby: There really ain't no good reason to have the lights on, so why dontcha turn 'em off.
Phil: Yeah, this isn't the spacecraft assembly building or anything.
Jerry: Oh yeah, are you sure?
Phil: I'm sure.
Jerry: It's remarkably similar.
Phil: It's too ... short.
Bobby: OK, now you turned those 2 on, why don't you turn the rest of 'em off.
Jerry: God, those things.
Bobby: We'll suffer through 'em.
Crowd cheers. Lights must've been turned off.
Phil: That was the very definition of a popular act.
Bobby: There you have it.
Next Time You See Me
Bobby: Hey, I see you're creepin' back up with the lights, why dontcha creep 'em back down. Just a little bit less, just a little bit less and it'll be most equitable.
Bobby: Hey now that's perfect, now that's perfect. I don't know how...wait a minute, all you people up here in front shut up. I wanna hear how the people back there like it. OK, how do you like it back there? Do you like it?
Bobby: It must be working.
Jerry: Now you have to be more distinct than that. It has to be either yes or no.
Phil: Please enunciate.
Jerry: One more time.
Crowd cheers louder.
Phil: Music to our ears.
Pigpen: All right Mr. Electrician man, if you mess with the lights we gonna hog tie you and throw your ass outta dis place.
Phil: Good old Pigpen, always ready with a kind word.
Bobby: Never one to employ subtlety.
[ people in the crowd yelling for songs during tuning ... ]
B?J?: Aw, shutup.
B: Listen, the sooner... the sooner y'all quit barking orders at us, the... the sooner our heads are gonna clear and we'll be able to figure out what we're gonna do next.
That ain't necessarily true, because every now and again somebody hollers something...
J: Let's hear it for asshole speakers (?)
B: ...that gives us an idea. The next couple of years, if you ain't got nothin' better to do you might vote for me for mayor.
J: Of Fremont.
-> Sugar Mag
Some other amusing banter from other shows:
[ The start of Brokedown ... ]
J: Fare you well my honey [ ... which just gets worse... ]
fare you well my only true one [ ... and worse... ]
all the birds that were... [ ...until it completely falls apart ]
B: Hey, let's start over.
J: Want to?
J: You guys remember the chords? [ Brent starts playing Try to remember... what's this song mumble... the chords while Jerry Now somebody play in the right mumble... continues talking ]
B: I... I don't play on that part.
J: Yeah, yeah right.
You can get done barking orders at me, and then we'll get on with the show, OK? Or actually, let's have a moment of silence for 60's nostalgia.
I don't even remember the 60's.
But I did remember the words to Desolation Row.
-> Easy to Slip
[ after playing the first few verses of Desolation Row, they stop and Bob says ]
OK, I'll do a quick scan of the words on that one, because right now I don't remember what the 4th verse is, but by showtime I will. All the way through the 10th verse.
John Oleynick firstname.lastname@example.org ..!rutgers!cs.rutgers.edu!juo
From: Chris Ullsperger <email@example.com> Subject: More Crowd Control Date: 13 Nov 1993 03:36:03 GMT
Unknown Host (after saying something about everybody being relaxed at the beginning of the performance): So it would be best at the beginning to sit so the ones in back of you could see.
Pig: Don't sit! Stand up!
UH (freaking): Yeah, well, we'll do that, too. We'll do that, too.
Jerry (in background): Stand up OR sit!
Pig: Don't be programmin' it, baby! Let's just GET IT ON!
UH: Okay, it's just that we gotta consider some of the other people that can't see that wanna sit down. We have to get the HAH-mony back.
Jerry (in background): There's nothin' to see anyway!
UH: Right. You do what you want.
Jerry: Thanks, man!
Pig (in background): Yes, boss!
UH: You guys are...too much!
The Dead then launch into an interstellar Lovelight and jam like madmen for 90 minutes, ending with a phenomenal St. Stephen->Feedback, followed by And We Bid You Goodnight. The announcer gets back up and says "Let's hear it for the grateful dead! Far out! And don't go away, we have the Youngbloods next!"
The poor Youngbloods. They must've felt like the who did a few weeks later following jimi at monterey.